My throat is sore. I feel very sick. My birthday was yesterday. I am now 26.

Due to being sick, I am probably going to be much more ornery than normal, and make more references to “fuck”, “dick”, and – maybe – “cockhole” – than normal. Sorry. It’s kind of like a tick when I write sick.

—

So the execs of the failing car companies go to D.C. to see if they can produce a number – to the nearest hundred; rounded if needed – of how many penises they will need to service before the government is willing to give them the 25 billion dollars they are demanding. Demanding, and threatening us with.

“DON’T MAKE ME DO THIS. YOU KNOW I AM 10% OF YOUR ECONOMY. I’D HATE FOR SOMETHING BAD TO HAPPEN.”

Fucking; please. Part of the reason that we are in the situation that we find ourselves in is due to our dumb fucking manufacturing focuses being 10% cars, built by 2–3 companies. You diversify your portfolio; you diversify your plate at the buffett; you see what other holes it will go into. You don’t put all your eggs into the “MEAK CARRRRZ” basket just because it worked really good in the 30’s and 50’s – and if you do: don’t create a market that discourages emergence of new technologies, or allow the main companies to mutually masturbate one another to discourage the emergence of -any– competition on a local level.

Oh oh oh. Here’s a nice quote for you from ABC:

“All three CEOs - Rick Wagoner of GM, Alan Mulally of Ford, and Robert Nardelli of Chrysler - exercised their perks Tuesday by flying in corporate jets to DC. Wagoner flew in GM's $36 million luxury aircraft to tell members of Congress that the company is burning through cash, asking for $10-12 billion for GM alone. “

No. No you fat fucking cocksuckers. You want me to give you money? Fly coach. You fly over there on your super-special plane? Go see how much of your own dick you can eat before your spine snaps.

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Dear GM:

Let me get this straight.
You say, “We may not have enough money to get through this quarter”; which, to me at least, translates to “We totally do not have enough money to get through this quarter – we are seriously fucked”. Do you know what really sticks a dick in the whole idea of it, though? When you fly around in the private jet; because I know how that jet has to be fueled – and how much that fuel costs. Plus the pilot fee. Plus the stewardess (or two) that were aboard. Plus the 17 Cambodian 6 year olds that you bring along with you to service your manparts.
That shit adds up, man.

Which brings me to my plan.
Ask the oil companies for money. If and when they say no, cut back on everything and see how they do. Then ask again in 6 months.

Because if you get the money from “me” (tax money); I swear to god I will find each person that approved of this – and put a bullet between their eyes. Yes; this also includes the great black hope’s advisors – since right now his mouth is flapping and pushing out words about doing whatever is needed to stabilize the economy. Is he not aware of the “If Puloski likes it, then you need to be against it” rule?

Anyhow. Go talk to Standard Oi– er… ExxAmBPGulfShell. When they say no -

I guess you should have fucking thought of that before you dug this hole.

Maybe you can cry about it on your jet ride back.

– Me.

p.s.:

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We are flying at this giant gaping hole faster and faster.
Copper is -SLUMPING-. Oil is -PLUNGING-. And we’re just starting.
I was always all like, “hey guyz; we’re about to start sinking.”

Well, we hit the burg; and we are now sinking. The more of our market that goes under the surface; the more bottom-heavy, the quicker we sink. People run for the lifeboats. Some companies try to act like people to get on lifeboats.

Me? I have a lifeboat. My lifeboat is called, “I’m 26, a student, and don’t have a 401k.”